So, it’s 14th February again. Everyone knows what that means. Time to spend money on chocolate, roses, cards, and special outings. Time to say all sorts of lovely things. Time to be so very happy. But what about those who aren’t so happy about Valentine’s Day?
What to say on Valentine’s Day
An internet search on “What to say on Valentine’s Day” came up with lots of results, including the following:
Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone! May this day overflow with all the love your heart can hold. Sending warm hugs and best wishes to you all!
Wishing you a happy Valentine’s Day! Enjoy love and happiness today.
Life without love is like a world without any sunshine. May your life never run out of the love that you deserve. Happy Valentine’s Day.
What about those who aren’t so happy about Valentine’s Day?
All lovely thoughts. But what about those who are in relationships that have gone stale? There won’t be lovely words, or cards and flowers – just more of the same humdrum of life that is too busy. There won’t be time for niceties because we are distracted and distant from the needs of those closest to us. Or maybe our person will try to do something nice, but it’s not what we really want, and surely, they should know what I want and need by now!?
What about those who feel lonely? What about those who are grieving the loss of loved ones? What about those whose families have cut themselves off? What about those who never found the right one?
I deserve love, don’t I?
“May your life never run out of the love that you deserve.” Mmmm. So, does that mean that if I haven’t got perfect love, then I don’t deserve it? What if my loved one abandoned me or hurt me? What about if they died?
What about if I left them? What about if I didn’t give them a chance to love me? Or I didn’t do what I should have done for those who depended on me? What about if my loved ones have gone, and now I don’t have anyone?
What if my past suggests that I actually DON’T deserve love?
It’s no wonder many are not happy about Valentine’s Day.
What’s my purpose?
Why am I here? What’s my purpose in life? We were created for relationship. Although we may try to convince ourselves that we are better off without them, we can’t live without other people. We have a created need for emotional connection. It’s how God made us. The most important relationship is our relationship to God. He made us. God made you!
You, Lord, are our Father.
Isaiah 64:8
We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.
God made you because HE LOVES YOU!
What went wrong?
Back in the Garden of Eden, God made the first people, Adam and Eve. Everything was perfect. But soon enough, the relationship was broken. Adam and Eve were not robots, they had free will. There was only one rule – don’t eat the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Satan tempted Eve, saying that she could be like God. She would know good and evil if she just ate the fruit.
That’s just like us today. It feels so tempting to be my own god; to make my own rules for my life; to be in control; to do what I want to do:
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
Genesis 3:6-7
The rule was broken, the relationship severed. They realized they were naked, so they tried to cover themselves to hide their shame. Knowing they had done wrong, they hid from God.
God knew what they had done. He knew what they would do, but instead of berating them and pounding his fist, He patiently asks questions:
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”
Genesis 3:8-11
Adam and Eve had the chance to confess, to own up to the fact that they had disobeyed. They knew God loved them. But instead of owning up to their sin, they blamed each other and the serpent. Adam even blamed God because He gave him Eve as his wife:
The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”
Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Genesis 3:12-13
The first broken relationship
Now, God had already told Adam the consequences of disobedience:
The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”
Genesis 2:15-17
Adam and Eve didn’t suddenly drop dead. But now they would die. The relationship with God was immediately broken. And it would be eternally severed after death. God is holy and righteous. Sinful creatures cannot be in His presence.
Our ancestors chose to sin. And we have inherited their sinful natures.
We deserve separation in hell. And like Adam and Eve we try to cover up our shame. We try to excuse our sin. We try to blame someone else.
God knew all this would happen. He knew we would sin. We may wonder why He couldn’t just turn a blind eye, just forgive and forget, just let them (and us) get away with sin. But, no, God is holy and just. There are consequences for sin:
For the wages of sin is death.
Romans 6:23a
Who will bear the consequences?
God speaks to the serpent first:
So, the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this,
Cursed are you above all livestock and all wild animals!
Genesis 3:14-15
You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life.
And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers;
he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel.”
Take note of verse 15. God will put enmity between the serpent and people. Someone is coming who will crush the head (kill) of Satan, and Satan will strike his heel (wound him).
This verse has been described as the proto gospel – the first mention of the good news of salvation. God is talking about Jesus, who will come into the world as the offspring of a woman – the virgin birth. He will be wounded, but will defeat Satan, death and evil.
Jesus will come to bear the consequences for OUR sin. Jesus died, not for any sin of His own, but for YOUR sin! God rejected Jesus instead of you and me. God punished Jesus instead of you:
Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us.
Galatians 3:13a
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 6:23
The perfect love
God’s love overwhelms me. Deep down, I know I’m a mess. I am a sinner. I’m guilty and ashamed. But GOD LOVES ME! I deserve condemnation and separation. Yet, Jesus takes that on my behalf:
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
1 John 4:9-10
God’s Valentine wish
We’re all searching for love. We’re all asking where we belong, what’s our purpose in life.
God says:
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
John 13:34-35
Because God loves us so much, we are enabled, and commanded, to love one another. God’s purpose for us is to love Him, and to love one another.
So, this Valentine’s Day, and every other day, please be absolutely assured of God’s amazing, eternal love for you. Real love that chose you before the creation of the world:
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.
Ephesians 4:12
God’s love for you will never fade, will never fail. He will never abandon you or walk away. God is longing to be your eternal love. He is waiting patiently for you to come back to Him; to stop trying to pretend you can live without Him. He is asking us to stop pretending He doesn’t even exist, that we made ourselves, and are answerable to no one.
This Valentine’s Day, even though everyone else has let you down, and you may not feel loved, or loved enough, or even feel lovable, remember that GOD LOVES YOU!
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16
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https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/family-and-domestic-violence
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