We are in December, the season of Advent, leading up to Christmas. It’s meant to be a happy time of anticipation and joy. Then, why am I so sad?
Difficult years
The last few years have been very difficult for many people. This year, some businesses declared bankruptcy. Not just some, but 1481 businesses! tradingeconomics australian bankruptcies
So, I couldn’t get my free annual service for my expensive vacuum cleaner. When I bought it, I was entitled to free services for 10 years. There are still three services left, so I won’t get what I’m entitled to get.
Several clothing shops closed. Not that I buy a lot of clothes, but when I wanted to buy a dress, I couldn’t go to many of the dress shops I prefer. It seems that people prefer to buy online, often from overseas, where labour is cheap. Too cheap, perhaps it could even be considered forced labour. Now, that’s another discussion …
My favourite photobook company, Momento, went out of business. This was not good for me. I have spent a lot of time making beautiful photobooks of our travels, and life adventures. Perhaps they weren’t the cheapest, but their software was excellent and easy to use, and their quality was the best. And they were Australian. I’ve had to find an alternative photobook company and then struggle to learn a new system. In fact, I’m still struggling with that!
We wanted to buy a new 5th wheeler caravan, but one of the few Australian manufacturers closed down. This was a big shock. He didn’t go broke, but closed due to business regulations.
These things may have been difficult for me, but I’m sure it’s much worse for those business owners and employees who are now out of work. I’m sad for me, and very sad for them. I pray for all those without work, or without enough work. I pray that all of us can be fair and honest in our work, and in our buying and selling practices.
Loss of relationships
There have been loss of relationships this year. For us, it’s been the loss of our church family, where we’d been members for forty years. This was, and is, a tremendous cause of sadness. We’d put so much time and effort into that congregation. Not because we wanted to be thanked, but because we wanted to bring people to Jesus. And because we wanted to develop close relationships with fellow believers. We don’t have family living close by, so we need our church friends to fill that gap. I’m sad about that.
People have their own families, and their own busy lives. There just isn’t time for deep, close relationships. We’re all too busy making money, and spending money, going on expensive holidays, and chasing our tails on the rat race. So, we have surface conversations and talk about the weather, and how bad things are. And some of us are left lonely and sad, without hope for the future.
I’m sad when I remember my dear father, now in heaven. I miss him dearly. I know he’s in heaven, and that I’ll see him again, but I’m still sad that he’s not here to talk to me now.
People say that Christmas is about family and friends. But for many of us, it isn’t possible to be with loved ones. This leaves us feeling alone and lonely. Hopeless and sad.
Right now, I find myself yearning for something that I can’t have.
What am I here for?
I’m doing lots of cleaning, but everything just gets dirty again. And there is no one to see it. Or those that do see, don’t even notice all my work. Why should I bother?
Things have changed this year, and continue to change. Sometimes I feel as if all the things I’ve worked for are not valued anymore. Nobody seems to want to hear what I have to say. Does anyone even care about me?
Dark times
These can be dark times with dark thoughts, threatening to dampen the season with fear, sadness and loneliness; or blacken the days with anger and bitterness. It can be tempting to give up and go into hiding. I can think that I must protect myself from everyone, that I’m best to lock myself into my dark room where no one can hurt me.
It’s tempting to become angry and bitter about all the bad things that have happened to me, and the bad things that people have done to me. It’s tempting to fight back and give them what they deserve.
It’s tempting to wallow in self-pity, to constantly moan about how hard things are for me, and how I deserve better. It’s tempting to demand that other people recognise how sad I am, and then do something to improve my lot.
It’s tempting to turn my thoughts inward and focus only on myself and my hard life. But then I stay stuck in the dark, dark place…
Jesus is the light of the world
Jesus doesn’t want me to hide in the darkness, or wrap myself in sadness, loneliness, fear and hopelessness. He doesn’t want me to lash out in anger, nor to brood in bitterness and self-pity.
Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
John 8:12
I need the hope of Christmas. I need the light of the world to shine in my heart again.
I pray that God will allow me to grieve my loss but save me from drowning in self-pity and hopelessness.
I need restoration!
I need God to restore to me: the joy of my salvation; the hope of Christmas; faith in the fact that He knows all about me, and plans only good things, even when I can only see bad things.
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence, or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:10-12
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
Click on the link to hear Brad Illian’s song, ‘Restore to Me’:
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What about you?
How are you feeling about Advent, Christmas, and life in general?
Please leave a comment below.