My Dirty Little Secret

Photo by Sander Sammy on Unsplash

After reading the title, how many of you really want to know my secret? It’s a strange thing, isn’t it, how we want to know all the gossip and dirt about other people. Perhaps it makes us feel better about ourselves if we think that someone else is a bigger sinner than we are.

Recently, I had (yet another) email from a stranger claiming to know all my dirty little secrets. He said that he would get rid of all the incriminating evidence, if only I gave him the money he demanded. If not, he would share my secrets far and wide. I’ve had such emails before. Many of them say that they have discovered my password. Actually, one of them had done just that. So, I had to immediately change it.

In fact, I do have a whole cupboard full of skeletons, and dirty little secrets. I try to keep them all locked up and quiet. I cover them up with make up or wear a mask to hide them all. I don’t want anyone to know the real me. If you knew all my sins, you may not like me.

I find myself thinking that I can’t ask anyone to share my secrets, or help me, because it’s my own fault. I doubt if anyone would want to help me anyway. I think that God is mad at me because of what I’ve done. Satan lies to me, “God doesn’t want to help you with the mess that you got YOURSELF into. Look at you, covered in shame and guilt. You are all alone!” I got myself into this mess, I need to get myself out of it.

My secret sins have a habit of wanting to get out, to leave me exposed, ashamed and guilty. Sometimes I try to excuse them by saying: they really aren’t a sin; that everyone is doing it; that I have to do it just to fit in; it was a long time ago; that I can’t help it. Deep in my heart, I know that’s just another cover up.

The psalmist, David, describes the pain of trying to hide one’s sin from God:

When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.

Psalm 32: 3-4 (NIV)

Satan wants us to think that our sins are too big for God to forgive. The truth is that NO sin is too big for God. Jesus has already died for ALL your sins.

It’s not our sin that is the problem, it’s our unwillingness to confess it.

Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.

Psalm 32: 5 (NIV)

When we confess our sin, God promises to forgive us – no matter what we have done! God already knows all the skeletons in the cupboard, and all the dirty big and little sins.

We don’t have to fix ourselves up, to make ourselves presentable to God. In fact, we can’t. I read recently about a new convert to Christianity, who said that not enough Christians tell others their greatest secret: that the Holy Spirit works repentance and healing in us. God is NOT a life coach or cheer leader at the side-lines, expecting us to fix ourselves. We can’t even repent on our own. It is the Holy Spirit who leads us to confession and repentance. And God promises to forgive.

Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit.

Psalm 32:1-2 (NIV)

Prayer: Dear God, Please fill me with your Holy Spirit to bring me to You. I confess that I try to make myself look good by covering up my sin, and trying to do good works. Please forgive me. You already know how sinful I am, by my nature and by my thoughts, words and deeds. You know the specific sins that weigh heavily on my heart. Help me to trust You with these burdens. Help me to hand my sinful self to You, knowing that you love me forever. Thank you that You DO forgive me because of Jesus. Amen.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Are you trying to hide things from others, or from God?

Do you have big or little secrets that you are trying to hide under the carpet?

Do you think that people won’t like you if they really knew you?

Jesus died for ALL your sins, even the ones you think are too big for Him.

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