Recently, a friend of mine, whom I’ll call Betty, messed up badly.
She had borrowed her husband’s car to visit a friend, and when parking, had accidentally scraped it on some tree branches overhanging the footpath.
This car is her husband’s pride and joy. It is new, fancy, and very special to him.
What should she do?
- Try to rub off the marks when she got home, and hope he doesn’t see them. (Hide her sin)
- Pay a detailer to remove the marks before he finds out (Hide her sin).
- Act surprised when he eventually finds out and pretend someone else did it (Hide her sin; deny her sin).
- Blame the council for planting trees too close to the road (Deny her sin).
- Tell him to get over it, it’s only a car, and he loves it too much anyway (Accuse him of sin).
- Roll her eyes, sigh and tell him, “You’re not going to like this, and it’s just a little thing, but I guess you’ll think it is a big deal…” (Trivialise her sin; Make her sin his problem).
- Say she’ll never drive his car again. (Make life difficult for herself; make threats/promises that she can’t keep.)
- Tell him it’s really his fault, because he should have … If she wasn’t in such a hurry, she wouldn’t have made the mistake. (Blame him for her sin).
- Blame herself big time. Go overboard in berating herself. Say to herself and everyone else, “I’m such a fool/idiot/loser/no hoper/so stupid! I can’t do anything right! I should know better. I’m no good.” (Get stuck in her sin, with no way out).
- Wash his car, polish his shoes, iron his shirts, do all sorts of good deeds. (Try to outweigh the bad with the good).
- Go humbly and honestly to her husband. Avoid if, but, maybe. Acknowledge his hurt, and ask for forgiveness.
What would YOU do?
He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.
Proverbs 28:13 (NIV)