Recently, I made a quilt for a friend’s newborn baby. I like to put ribbon binding on baby quilts. Because the ribbon is so shiny and slippery, it is difficult to sew. So, I researched online to find a new way to attach the binding.
I listened to the video several times before beginning the task. Then I listened again, and again, this time slowing down the playback speed so that I could compare my work with what she was demonstrating. All went fine, until the final stitches. Even though I had been as careful as I could, the ribbon was going to end up not laying flat.
Increasing frustration
By this time, I was quite frustrated. First, I thought it was just a little thing. I finished it, and ended up with a little pucker in the binding. But, that wasn’t really acceptable for a gift.
So, then I unpicked that corner and tried to re-attach the ribbon. Well! That ended up with an even bigger mess in at the corner, with bits of fraying ribbon being exposed. My frustration level continued to rise. Then, I thought I could sew a little rectangle over the corner to hide the mess – see photo. Once again, this wasn’t acceptable as a gift for a newborn.
So, clenching my teeth, I unpicked ALL the binding. But then I didn’t have enough ribbon to re-attach it using my usual method. Grrr!
So, off I went to the fabric shop. This was also frustrating, because I had said I wouldn’t buy any more quilting supplies, until I used up the ones I already have. Then the shop didn’t have the same colour! So, I had to get the closest one.
The first quilt ended up being a mess. When I tried to hide my mistakes, they became even more obvious. As the task became more and more difficult, I became more and more frustrated. I even wondered if I should just give it all up. Or perhaps i should cut the quilt into smaller practice squares.
My unsuccessful efforts at hiding my quilting mistakes reminds me of my unsuccessful efforts to hide my sin from God. Perhaps I might be able to hide things from other people. I can put a mask over my struggles. I can smile and hide my mistakes, frustrations and difficulties.
When people ask how I am, I can give a non-committal answer. That seems to satisfy most people. I have found few people really want to get to know me on a deep level anyway. They just seem to be happy with small talk, and usually about themselves.
In fact, when I do try to share my deep concerns, they don’t seem to be interested. Perhaps they give a quick-fix solution, telling me to just get over it. Or worse, people may tell me that I am the problem!
Who can I trust?
It’s not easy to find someone to trust with real problems. I’d like to be able to be honest when people ask how I am doing. I’d like them to listen to my worries and struggles. I don’t want them to brush me off, or to just launch into a story of something about themselves. I want to be heard!
At least I think I do. I’m actually a bit scared to open up about the real me. It seems that I’m meant to present a smooth, neat, perfect exterior. It seems that if people really knew all my mistakes and frustrations, they wouldn’t like me. And if I’m really honest, there ARE some things that I would actually prefer to keep a secret My Dirty Little Secret.
I try to hide my imperfect self from God too. I try to excuse myself – it was just a mistake; it’s what everyone does today; I’m just human; it’s only a little thing; I couldn’t help it; x made me do it.
I’ve even said, “But God, if you are really a loving God, surely you will overlook my wrongdoing?”
God says, however, that He is NOT going to turn a blind eye:
The Lord looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.
All have turned away, all have become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one.
Psalm 14:2-3
What does God expect?
God’s expectations are for perfection!
Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matthew 5:48
Well, that’s not even possible! My excuses will never cover up the real me. I might be able to convince others that I’m perfect, or almost perfect, or even that I’m good enough. I might even be able to convince myself that I’m OK. But God says that is self-deception and a lie:
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.
1 John 1:8
Is there any hope?
So God sees my every fault. I can’t hide the truth behind a mask, or make-up. God expects perfection. Because God is holy and just, nothing imperfect can come into His presence. I’m doomed to eternal damnation. I’m in BIG trouble!
Now, here’s the amazing good news. Jesus came to take the punishment I deserved. I deserved to die, to be banished from God. But Jesus willingly CHOSE to die for me. He paid the price for my sins!
Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behaviour.
But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.
Colossians 1:21-22
Wow! I’m made holy, without blemish and free from accusation. I’m purified from all unrighteousness. Jesus swapped my sin for His holiness. Not because I deserved it, but because He LOVES me.
What a relief!
So God knows the real me, inside and out. I don’t have to try to hide it from Him. In fact, He wants me to come to him just as I am. It’s the real, rotten, sinful me, that Jesus came to save. It’s the real me that needs Jesus. The perfect me doesn’t need saving.
I don’t need to rely on other people’s opinions of me. I’m never going to be good enough for the world. I don’t even need to rely on my own opinion of myself. The world tells me that I’m great, and wonderful and I can do anything I like. I can please myself.
That’s not what God says. He says that on my own I’m lost in my sin, alienated from God. I’m God’s enemy. BUT, because of Jesus, I’m forgiven. I’m purified. I’m holy. I’m saved. I’m free!
This is a gift for you too. It’s free for you, but it cost Jesus everything. Jesus died for your sins too. Jesus already knows your true nature. He knows all the sins that you are trying to cover up. He invites you to tell Him the truth about your real self.
It’s such an effort to keep pretending you are perfect. And it’s such a relief to stop having to put on an act.
God says He will make you clean and pure and holy. That’s a promise. And God always keeps His promises.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9
Hallelujah!
What About You?
Are there things you are trying to cover up and mistakes you are trying to hide?
How are you managing with that?
How do you feel when people don’t seem interested in your deep issues?
How do you feel about God already knowing all your darkest secrets?